I could not speak about it; I was too connected to it, too touched by it to sit down and dissect it with the seriousness it deserved. Under the watchful eyes of my family, I decided that I was already too tired to teach them about the severity and complexities of eating disorders.
Family holidays can be an incredibly stressful if you’re struggling with your eating or body image. Family, food, weather, gifts, shopping…every day seems to bring some new activity, crisis, joy or obligation. So how do you navigate these unpredictable times of year?
I caught my reflection in the mirror. I quickly looked away, but the image was seared into my brain. Just like a horrible car crash, I couldn’t stop myself from taking a second peek. Then a third and a fourth and a fifth. I don’t know how many peeks I stole, but I know that they were never more than 5 seconds. I also know that I felt worse with each peek.
Setting boundaries and learning to say no is critically important during recovery. Being assertive, openly expressing yourself and setting boundaries takes away a lot of ED’s power.
If you’re recovering from an eating disorder, stepping out of your comfort zone can be particularly hard. Life with an eating disorder is all about rules and regulations.
Whether you’re just starting down the recovery path or you’re long asymptomatic, healing is a long and difficult process that can leave you completely exhausted. Especially when you’ve been in recovery for some time and you’ve heard the same things over and over again, it’s easy to feel like there is nothing new to learn. What I’ve learned over the years is that there is always something new to learn and healing tends to come into fits and bursts.
One the most important habits I developed that helped me through the worst of my eating disorder and still helps me today is a small routine- a time during the day that I spend with myself, doing the things that are most important to my health and to my happiness.
It can be painful and difficult to watch someone in the throws of an eating disorder and you may feel compelled to help. However, approaching a friend or family member that may have an eating disorder is a delicate matter.
While there were many moments on my path to recovery that were significant, I find this one particularly important as I still come back to it today when life starts to become overwhelming.
